So, as usual something has been stirring in me the last few days and it's been seriously bugging me. This might not relate to all of you but it might for some. I have been struggling with being a single christian woman and the loneliness that comes along with that and sometimes creeps in. I know loneliness is entirely normal and 95% of the time I am perfectly content with the single life that I have chose, but this week has been a tough one. So tonight, I want to document all that God has shown me and is working in me.
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." -Genesis 2:18
As a young adult, it's extremely difficult to not feel lonely in society, especially at the age that I am. It feels as if all my friends are getting married and having kids, and I'm just excited to get 8 hours of sleep on the weekends. It would be nice to have someone to spend time with and share experiences with, but at what cost?
I have been through my fair share of messed up relationships, and even turned down marriage, in my young life.
Like any naive adolescent female, I chose the bad boys only to get my heart broken when I wasn't his only choice.
I slept with them because I felt that if I didn't they wouldn't accept/want me and let's be honest because my lustful nature did also.
Guess what? They didn't respect me, one bit and you want to know why?
I didn't respect myself.
In my honest opinion I feel that MOST young adult relationships are just all about sex and there isn't any real depth to them, at all.
What do you think dating would be like if the "popular" thing to do is wait until marriage, like God intended it to be?
How much different would the world be?
Dating with purpose is non existent now-a-days.
Something happened to me today, that completely left me speechless. I was at wal-mart and was putting my groceries away in my trunk and a man of the East Indian decent approached me. The first thing he said to me was, "My lady, God has blessed you with such a beautiful face." Automatically, I was rolling my eyes inside and just stated, "Awe, well thank you sir." After my response he proceeded to tell me that the most beautiful thing I posses though, is not my face but my heart and I was put on this earth to give. He stated that I expect nothing in return and give so generously that I have had my heart broken in the past and God wants me to know that the answer to my questions is right around the corner and in the NEAR future. At this point, I was absolutely speechless. He inquired about my back pain and blew my mind with his mind reading but then he asked me for money for homeless children in India. I was skeptical about the money part but he wasn't offended when I didn't have any cash on me. He said a blessing over me and then was gone. It amazes me how absolutely boldly God works in my life. When I think he's just sitting back and letting me handle things on my own, he goes above and beyond to show me his LOVE. Yes, even in an elderly random Indian man. lol
Ladies, you are made in HIS image and of the HIGHEST value.
"I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well."
So, lets just say you are casually dating/sleeping with a guy.
Do you EVER think of the role model this guy will play in your possible child's life if you were to get pregnant?
I sure didn't.
Luckily, I didn't get pregnant.
At this point in my life, I choose sometimes loneliness over dating someone who doesn't serve me.
Men, are supposed to love and cherish women, as Jesus loved the church.
Women, are supposed to submit themselves to men.
Now, this says husbands and wives in the bible but WHY would you continue to date someone you couldn't marry and spend your life with?
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." -Ephesians 5:22-23
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do unto the Lord." -Ephesians 5:22-23
I REFUSE to submit myself to a man who doesn't submit himself to God. The man that I will give my all to puts God first and will LEAD me and my future children. He will show my son(s) how men are supposed to treat women and how to honestly work for the Lord, and he will show my daughter(s) how a man should treat a woman.
Matt Chandler, in one of his sermons says it best.
"Can I say something to young ladies here? I'm trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we're working our tails off for you to try to develop some into that. But don't settle, because it's better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me? It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to a man that will teach your kids everything but the way of Jesus."
Why on earth would you give ANY of your precious time to a man who wont respect you, when you can work on being the woman God created you to be, for the Man of God that he has waiting for you in the future?
DO NOT SETTLE!
The only one who can satisfy the human heart, is the one who created it.
There is a BIG difference between a Christian guy, and a Man of God.
A Christian guy might say he loves you, but a Man of God will love God more than you.
A Christian guy might text you Bible verses, or have a tattoo of them, but a Man of God will live out those verses and have them written on his heart.
A Christian guy might go to church, but a Man of God will see that his highest calling is to give Christ glory.
A Christian guy might “accidentally” compromise your virtue, but a Man of God will protect it above all else.
A Christian guy might be super attractive, but a Man of God will have a beautiful heart, regardless of his looks.
A Christian guy might take you out, but a Man of God will hold you up before God in his prayers.
So don’t settle for just a Christian guy. And long to be the kind of woman of God who will attract a man like that.”
- Author Unknown
So, ladies all I'm saying is yes, it gets lonely and yes, you may feel like the outsider but do NOT settle for anything less than God's best for you. The right man will come and hopefully God doesn't have to use a random creepy Indian man to get that point across to you! :P